February, 1989 GAY PEOPLES CHRONICLE Page 7

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YOUR PERSONAL SPACE

by Douglas J. Moore, Ph.D.

Ready to Relax?

So you think you are ready to relax. But, are you really? Many people are not ready because they do not allow themselves to relax. They think it is a waste of time or they don't have the time. If you think it is a waste of time you may consider reading my last column which outlined the physical and psychological benefits of relaxation. If you don't have the time to relax, that is a sign that you definately need it.

You already know what is relaxing for you. It may be lying on a beach, reading a book, going for a walk, whatever. These forms of relaxation are important, but are not as extensive as the deep relaxation techniqué described below. Before starting a deep relaxation session, you need to prepare yourself.

1. Mentally allow yourself to just sit and relax for 20 minutes without doing anything.

2. Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed. Tell others not to bother you and take the phone off the hook. Turn off the TV, radio, etc. If noise outside the room is bothersome, turn on a fan.

3. Music is optional, but not recommended in the beginning while you are learning the technique. Deep relaxation is a skill to be acquired and developed; music may interfere rather than faciliate that process.

4. Sit in a comfortable chair that support's your back. Do not lie down as you are likely to fall asleep. Sleeping provides different benefits than deep relaxation.

5. Allow two hours after a meal before practicing. Otherwise, your digestive system is busy churning away which inhibits your ability completely relax.

I. Deep Breathing. Take three deep breaths by breathing in very slowly, filling your lungs, holding to the count of three, then very slowly breathe out. Do these three deep breaths in a row, trying not to take any small breaths between the deep ones. You may need to work up to three if you have difficulty. If you start to cough, you are breathing too deeply, so let up next time. The key to these is to do them as slowly as you can and for the inhales to be the same length as the exhales. The purpose of this component is to supply your blood with oxygen which helps to regulate and slow down your breathing.

II. Deep Muscle Relaxation. The next part of the relaxation technique is to tense and relax each of the following muscle groups. By tensing each muscle first, you will experience the contrast between tension and relaxation, and soon learn to replace the tension with deep relaxation. The process also helps you become more aware of when you tighten up in stressful situations. You should tense a muscle group by mildly tightening only the designated muscle for three seconds, and then very quickly relaxing that muscle. After relaxing the muscle, you should pay attention to it in your mind for two complete breaths. Just become aware of how relaxed it feels in comparison to how it felt when it was tense. Take your time with this part, it should take between five and ten minutes. a. right foot b. right calf c. right thigh d. left foot e. left calf f. left thigh g. buttocks

h. stomach

i. chest

to

j. right and left shoulders

k. right arm

1. right hand

is

m. left arm

The following technique comprised of three components. Keep your eyes closed throughout the process and gently move from one component to the next in the given order.

n. left hand o. neck

p. face (scrunch it up)

r. double check them all and

relax them if they tightened up

To tighten the foot, just curl your toes under gently. Do it too much and your foot will get a cramp. The calf is tightened by merely lifting your toes while keeping your heel on the ground. The shoulders are done by lifting both towards your ears. Your hands are tightened by making a fist. The key here is to release the tension quickly, as fast as you can, by letting the muscle group go limp. Enjoy the feeling of relaxation as it moves up your body.

There is some recent evidence that diseased parts of the body may be helped through visualization. As you are focusing on a muscle group that is sick imagine a white warm light surrounding it. Or, imagine the diseased cells disappearing and leaving healthy tissue behind. This imagery process is still controversial regarding its efficacy and should not take the place of medical intervention.

III. Relaxing the Mind. Begin to watch yourself breathing in and breathing out. Don't change your breathing on purpose, just become aware of it as an observer. If you need to take a deep breath normally, that is okay. Each time you breathe in think the word so. Each time you breathe out say to yourself the word calm. Continue thinking, "so calm," matching it to each of your breaths. It is normal for your mind to wander. Whenever this occurs, just come right back to watching your breathing, saying "so" each time you breathe in, and "calm" each time you breathe out. This component is designed to relax your mind. It is not the time to think about problems, do that later. This part should continue for about 10 to 15 minutes. Do not set an alarm to tell you when 20 minutes is up. Either judge it or have a clock nearby that you can see if you open your eyes.

When you are ready to finish, very slowly begin to feel some energy coming back into each of your body parts and slowly open your eyes. Take a full minute to come out of the relaxation, trying to retain that feeling as long as possible. Coming out too quickly can be disruptive and leave an uncomfortable feeling.

If you feel anxious, depressed, or any other unwanted feeling from doing this technique, you should stop. Consult a therapist skilled in relaxation for additional help.

It is recommended you practice the technique one or two times a day for 20 minutes. Remember, you won't find time, you'll have to make it. The amount of time is designed to help refine the skill and give the physiological changes discussed last time an opportunity to be altered.

Once you have learned the technique (after two to three weeks of regular practice) you should begin to feel a general calm. In addition, you can use it in any situation through a 15second shortened version. When you're in a stressful situation, keep your eyes open, take one slow deep breath, check out all muscle groups, relax any tightened ones, and watch your breathing while thinking "so... calm". This can help manage any physiological arousal from anxiety, anger, worry, etc. It can be done while talking or moving and no one needs to know; it is your special way of staying calm. Enjoy.

For further reading in relaxation techniques, consider the following references:

Stress Sanity and Survival

R. Woolfolk & F. Richardson Sovereign, 1978

The Relaxation Response H. Benson Morrow & Co., 1975 Freedom in Meditation P. Carrington Doubleday, 1978

I welcome comments about the column or questions you may have. Please address them to the Chronicle.

Dr. Moore is a clinical psychologist in private practice. He also teaches, consults, and does research at several institutions in Cleveland. ▼

Women's blood drive gets great response

A lot of Cleveland women literally gave of themselves on January 8.

Bloodsisters, a women's blood drive for AIDS education and awareness, drew more than 85 donors and volunteers to the event at the Women's Building Project.

"The drive was a tremendous success," said organizer Deb Dunkle. "The women's community was extremely generous and supportive in extending their hearts and their arms to fight AIDS."

Kim Cook, another Bloodsisters organizer, added, "I was very surprised and pleased with the response. I felt that I hadn't personally done enough on this issue, nor did I think the Cleveland women's community had enough opportunity to publicly show our support for the fight against AIDS, so I was determined to organize something like this."

Cook said she got her original inspiration for the blood drive from a book about the politics of AIDS, And The Band Played On by Randy Shilts, which credits the women of San Diego with the first Bloodsisters drive. It has reportedly spread to other major cities nationwide.

The Red Cross sponsored the blood collection itself, and Cook feels donors did a great job of educating the Red Cross on our lives and our commitment. "They were amazed at the continual lines of women and the large number of volunteers we had." she said

"We would love to see this event continue and particularly hope that some women will help organize the next drive on the West Side," Cook added.

Men volunteered from the Lesbian-Gay Community Service Center to prepare and serve brunch; many women who could not donate blood volunteered to help throughout the day, and local businesses contributed food for the event.

Photos by Brynna Fish

Brave Deb Dunkel

Pat H. giving a donation

at Bloodsisters